Sherman Tanks vs. Meat Curtains
Easy call. The Tanks would have crushed Meat Curtains in week one by at least five points. And that was with some Colts pussy not playing. Well, playing and getting hurt without being touched. And the Tanks won't need him again. Sure Meat Curtains got Tom Brady, but Brady has to face the Jets who shut down Matt Schaub and Brady is no Matt Schaub. A running game with Ray Rice and Ronnie Brown? Don't make me laugh. They've got nothing on Michael Turner and Brandon Jacobs. And receivers? Andre Johnson should do real well against Titans defense. He might break 40 yards this week. DeSean Jackson? Meet your new quarterback Kevin Kolb. TJ Houshmanzadeh? How are the back spasms that kept you out of practice? Vincent Jackson goes up against Baltimore who let Kansas City move the ball on them. Kansas City? The fucking Chiefs? Are you shitting me? And Hines Ward already has one hundred yard game and is now facing a Bears defense that lost last week on a long touchdown pass with a prevent defense on the field. Prediction: Meat has no shot this week.
Dark Lords vs. Los Bastardos
Interesting game. The Bastards didn't do much of anything last week. The Lords would have crushed them. Will it happen this week? Maybe. Probably not. For one, I can't see every Bastard with the exception of Philip Rivers and Joseph Addai being so mediocre two weeks in a row. And Addai was above expectations because they were low and Rivers did okay but a bit below what he should have done. You expect guys like Chris Johnson and Marques Colston to have a big game at some point. And maybe Eddie Royal against the Browns could do it this week. And I wouldn't be that concerned about Rivers facing Baltimore's defense. Brodie Croyle threw for two touchdowns against them last week so I don't think they're as good as in the past. The Dark Lords did put up 92 points, but Devery Henderson had 20. I don't see that happening again. Receiver could be a big problem if he comes to Earth since Wes Welker may be hurt this week. And they don't seem to really have a true stud at running back. And I'm not sure what Aaron Rodgers (didn't look to good, but could be an aberration) will do against the Bengals D (did look good, but I'm sure is an aberration). Prediction: Big game from Chris Johnson gives the Bastards the win.
Dark Lords vs. Los Bastardos
Interesting game. The Bastards didn't do much of anything last week. The Lords would have crushed them. Will it happen this week? Maybe. Probably not. For one, I can't see every Bastard with the exception of Philip Rivers and Joseph Addai being so mediocre two weeks in a row. And Addai was above expectations because they were low and Rivers did okay but a bit below what he should have done. You expect guys like Chris Johnson and Marques Colston to have a big game at some point. And maybe Eddie Royal against the Browns could do it this week. And I wouldn't be that concerned about Rivers facing Baltimore's defense. Brodie Croyle threw for two touchdowns against them last week so I don't think they're as good as in the past. The Dark Lords did put up 92 points, but Devery Henderson had 20. I don't see that happening again. Receiver could be a big problem if he comes to Earth since Wes Welker may be hurt this week. And they don't seem to really have a true stud at running back. And I'm not sure what Aaron Rodgers (didn't look to good, but could be an aberration) will do against the Bengals D (did look good, but I'm sure is an aberration). Prediction: Big game from Chris Johnson gives the Bastards the win.
This would have been a pretty even matchup last week. But Waived isn't getting 14 points out of Cedric Benson again. But I don't see Santonio Holmes and Fred Jackson combining for 44 points for Mooseknuckles this week. But Roddy White will probably have a big game this week for them since he's facing Carolina. Of course, that's offset by Waived having Matt Ryan at quarterback. I think running game is going to be key here. Mooseknuckles roll out DeAngelo Williams, Thomas Jones and Jackson facing weak ass Tampa. Waived has Ryan Grant, Larry Johnson and Jamal Lewis. Prediction: Waived has too many past their prime running backs. Mooseknuckles win.
Spooner St. Sporks vs. The Hellhounds
The Sporks are the highest scoring team so far. But Drew Brees won't be throwing for six touchdowns every week. Especially since they won't get to play the Lions every week. Which means Mike Bell probably isn't getting 18 points this week either. They'll certainly get some points for the Sporks, but if they combine for 55 percent of the Sporks points this week, the Sporks could be in trouble. Especially since I think the Dallas Suckboy duo of Roy Williams and Marion Barber will do worse this week against the Giants than they did against the Bucs. But can the Hounds take advantage of it? Well, Adrian Peterson should score huge against Detroit. But Calvin Johnson and Kevin Smith may struggle while facing the Vikings. Quarterback is an issue when you have to choose between Carson Palmer and what he did last week (nothing) versus Matt Hasselbeck and what he'll probably do against non-St. Louis teams (not much). But the plus is Darren McFadden faces the Chiefs. That's certainly a potential big game. Prediction: I think having Peterson and McFadden facing such lousy opponents will give the Hounds the win.
No Talent Ass Clowns vs. They Might Be Daves
The Clowns had a big week last week. Good matchups then. Might be some good ones this week. Tony Romo will come down from 34 points. Giants defense much better than the Bucs. But I think Maurice Jones-Drew and Brian Westbrook could have good games against Arizona and New Orleans this week. And Brandon Marshall gets Cleveland. Not sure if Reggie Wayne can keep it up with the huge target now on his back. Dave only had three guys on the entire roster do anything in week 1. And Joe Flacco was on the bench. Don't see San Diego letting him get 34 points this week. But Frank Gore (against Seattle) and Greg Jennings (against Bungles) could do well again. Terrell Owens could take a step up since they're facing a weak Tampa plus his bitching may cause the team to try to keep him happy. And Clinton Portis should certainly have a better week now that he's got the Rams. Prediction: I think the Clowns have the better matchups.
Last week: 2-3
For the season: 2-3
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